The increase in my ADHD medication has brought something I wasn’t expecting…
Peace.
Not excitement. Not motivation. Not suddenly becoming a different person.
Just… calm.
For the first time in a very long time, my mind feels quieter. The constant mental tabs that were always open, the noise, the racing thoughts, the feeling of having to fight my own brain every minute of every day… they’ve softened.
It’s incredibly hard to explain to someone who hasn’t experienced it, but if you know, you know.
Alongside that calm is another feeling though. Grief.
The quiet comes with the realisation that this could have been my reality years ago. How different might school have been? Nursing? Motherhood? Relationships? Work? How much energy have I spent simply trying to cope?
I can’t change the years that have passed, and I don’t want to live there for too long. But I think it’s okay to acknowledge that sense of loss. To grieve the version of yourself that had to work twice as hard just to keep up.
Then, gently, to turn towards what’s ahead.
Because while I can’t rewrite my past, I can write the rest of my story with a little more peace, a little more understanding, and a lot more self-compassion.
If you’ve recently been diagnosed as an adult, it’s okay if you’re feeling both relief and sadness. Both can exist at the same time. 🤍
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